“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may prove yourselves to be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors, do they not do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Even the Gentiles, do they not do the same? Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:43-48; all Scripture quotations are from the New American Standard Bible).

One significant sign of spiritual maturity is the ability to love our enemies. As Jesus shows us here, it is easy to love those who are kind, polite, generous, or courteous to us. Loving those who are rude, manipulative, bitter, or hostile demands extra grace.

The New American Standard Bible usually displays direct or almost-direct quotes from the Old Testament in the New with all-capital letters. In verse 43, the only capital words are “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR.” The cross-reference note on the Bible Gateway website connects this phrase with Leviticus 19:18:

“You shall not take vengeance, nor hold any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:18).

The phrase “hate your enemy” is not in all capital letters, which shows that it is not a direct quote. Bible Gateway provides a link to Deuteronomy 23:3-6, where God told the Israelites that no Ammonite or Moabite may enter the assembly of the Lord, even to the tenth generation.

“You shall never seek their peace or their prosperity all your days” (Deuteronomy 23:6).

That is not a very strong argument for hating your enemy, since God identifies two specific groups of people. Furthermore, King David had a Moabite great-grandmother (see Ruth 4:17), so it seems like God could allow an exception to this rule.

It is likely that “hate your enemy” had slipped into Jewish tradition by Jesus’ day. It is easy to understand how this could happen. The Jews had endured centuries of hostility and oppression, and during Jesus’ lifetime, they were under Roman rule. Befriending a Gentile—a non-Jewish person—was frowned upon in respectable Jewish circles.

Many Christians continue to live by the “love your neighbor but hate your enemy” mindset. We have all been harmed, offended, or insulted by someone else; some have been physically or otherwise assaulted or abused. Therefore, we hold onto bitterness. We refuse to forgive. We criticize and condemn the offender—and anybody like them—at every opportunity. We might allow prejudice to influence our interactions with others. Certain sins (particularly sexual sins or gender dysphoria) inspire us to condemn and avoid people instead of showing them the love of God that they desperately need.

Jesus calls His disciples to a higher standard. “Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). If our righteousness will exceed that of the scribes and Pharisees, we have to surpass respectable religious regulations.

So, what does it mean to enemies? It does not necessarily mean that we will have positive feelings about them. We may not need to spend time with them: This is especially true if they have intentionally and repeatedly hurt us in the past and are likely to do so again. A battered wife or sex abuse victim does not have to continue exposing themselves to harm in the name of “loving your neighbor.”

However, there are tangible steps we can take to love our enemies.

First, we should forgive them. Often, forgiveness is not a one-time act; when one has hurt us deeply, it might be a process and take time. Whenever painful memories, bitterness, or anger arise in our hearts, we should consciously choose to forgive the other person. Eventually, the feelings will follow, but in some cases, this might take years.

Second, we should pray for them. Ask God to work in their lives. Ask Him to renew them in every area of their lives, drawing them to Himself. Maybe you are not in the best position to share the Gospel with them, but you can pray that God will send the right person. A good sign that you have forgiven them, or are on the path to forgiveness, is when you want the assurance that the enemy will be saved and go to heaven.

Third, we should be grateful for God’s blessings in their lives. When God answers our prayers, we should rejoice.

God shows His love to those who hate Him. As His children, so should we. Many of us were His enemies—in rebellion against Him—and He still loved and forgave us:

“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life” (Romans 5:10).

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8), including hatred. With Jesus in your heart and the Holy Spirit dwelling within, you can overcome the power of hatred by extending God’s love to others.

Lord, you told us that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Forgive us for the times when we place limits on who we should love or allow bitterness, hatred, anger, or unforgiveness to rule our lives. Fill us with your love so that we can share it with others, especially those who are most difficult to love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Can you think of a time when God empowered you to love someone who had harmed you or had been your enemy? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comment area below.

Copyright © 2023 Michael E. Lynch. All rights reserved.